The Marriage Post

I'll let the response speak for itself:

It's funny to see comments posted about me and my right to choose. I don't see how it's bigoted to know that you do not want to marry into a particular group of people, especially when that group has been known to consistently discredit my faith and my existence. As a Jew and a woman, I feel that Islam goes against my being. If over the centuries Christians and Jews had to evolve from bloody battles over belief into a more tolerant coexistence, how is it that I would want to marry into a religious group that hasn't reached the same level yet? Suicide bombings are no sign of improvement. the fact that they're a younger religion is no excuse - there are such things as internet and books (of which most of them do not have freedom to read!) and dialogue!

If Mexicans were to have religious and political beliefs that justifed and promoted the slaughter of Chinese-Americans AND if these beliefs extended to question whether Chinese-Americans should be allowed to exist in what they believed to be their own land after enduring centuries of persecution, then I would say "hell ya, Greg, don't marry them!" I wouldn't marry them.
Yes, I am including all Mexicans when it is only fundamental Mexicans that are the culprits. Let me remind you of the subjugation of women throughout the Mexican (I think you mean Middle) East. I am threatened by it and I refuse to be open-minded to being a part of it.
Now I know that times are a-changing, but I am not going to say I am open-minded to marrying someone of said group just because there are elements of change. WE have a long to go baby - especially when a director (of a film written by a Muslim) is stabbed to death in a country where you'd least likely expect to see such vitriolic hatred. (can hatred be vitriolic?)
check out Theo Van Gogh's film: http://www.genoeg.nu/

I believe in freedom of speech, but I also believe in respect for human life. Greg you have the freedom to say I'm bigoted and I have the freedom to marry whom I want, thank GOD.

The original post can be found here.

Another response:

I fail to see how wanting to marry someone with whom one holds shared values, culture, beliefs etc., is bigoted. Equal rights means access to housing, employment, education, and so on. It does NOT mean that everyone needs to date and marry whoever, regardless of whether they will have to compromise their deeply-held beliefs.
Is it bigoted to want to marry someone who has shared interests? Isn't that discriminating against people with whom you have nothing in common?
Your logic is totally off. And for the record, I, too, would not marry a Muslim.

I'm not sure if this second person actually read the post. Of course we are allowed to marry whomever we want and be friends with whomever we want. The point of being friends and choosing to marry is to be DISCRIMINATING. For instance, I can safely say, I will not marry a gay man. I do not think this is a bigoted position.

But what if I were to say, "I wouldn't be friends with a gay dude." I have the right to say and practice that - this is America, after all, I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I don't have to date Jewish chicks, or play basketball with Black guys, or eat in restuarants where a lot of Mexican people work. I don't have to be friends with Chinese folks, or take classes from a teacher with Italian heritage. No one can force me to do any of these things. But at the same time, I think having these positions and feelings are bigoted. Maybe not malicious - it's just the way I was raised, but bigoted and ignorant nonetheless.

To the specific issue between Islam and Jews. Islam has not always been in the sorry state it is today. At one time, Islam was a thriving cultural mecca (pun intended), and the middle east was one of the most progressive regions in the world. To think that Islam has a fundamental monopoly anti-Semitism and misogyny is false...currently, Islam has major, major problems....but I have Muslim friends who are cool. Plain and simple. I am not suggesting that they must marry some of my Jewish friends - not at all. I'm just saying that I have cool, moderate Muslim friends that can out drink your ass. I have cool Muslim friends that don't drink and will only marry a Muslim, who will cheat on Ramadam if there's free food. I have awesome, intelligent Jewish friends, who think they will ultimately marry a Jewish person, because of shared cultural values and I think that is wonderful, absolutely wonderful to have that kind of connection to a culture/religion. I also have Jewish friends who have tattoos and like chicks with huge tits, regardless of their ethnicity or religion.

I guess my only point is that when discussing who you'll marry - being inclusive, "I'll only marry a Jewish person or I'll only marry a Chinese person," seems to me more legitimate that being exclusive, "I will NOT marry a Muslim or I will not marry a Chinese person."

And to me, the same thing applies to friendship (and I'll grant you marriage is a whole different thing...) So when you say, "for the record, I wouldn't marry a Muslim either," would you also say, "For the record, I wouldn't be close friends with a Muslim?" That's a question for you, because it is no question for me.

And lastly, on a personal note, some of my mother's family wasn't excited about my mom marrying a white dude. They were brought up a certain way, that Chinese ought to marry Chinese. But their family history is wrought with shit, with marriages too young that didn't work out, with divorces, with broken homes and hearts and sharing a culture didn't help a damn bit to cure all of that. I counter that with my family, that while not being perfect is pretty damn good, my sisters and I all went to good colleges, and two of us are in prestigious graduate programs. But beyond our resumes, we are healthy and happy and my parents are together and happy. We have a good life. Not perfect, but pretty damn good compared to most people. So to the folks on my mothers side of the family who at one time didn't approve of my parents being married, because of what I call a bigoted position, I respectfully request to put my balls on their forehead and ask them for jook recipes. So there you go.