Marriage
I just got into an argument with a friend that basically started when she said she wouldn't marry a Muslim. It's weird - cause I feel like I'm too sympathetic to bigotry in general, like, I think people ought to be allowed to say, "I wouldn't want to be roommates with a gay guy." Or "I wouldn't date a Mexican dude." These things are not PC, but it's one thing to believe in equal rights and another thing to be able to choose who you want to hang out with. For some reason, though, the Mexican dude scenario or saying "I wouldn't marry a Muslim," seems bigoted to me. The odd part is, if someone say, "I'd only marry a Jewish person" or "I want to marry an Asian person," or so on, it seems perfectly fine to me, and not bigoted.
It's as if you apply a bigoted position to a wide enough swath, then it becomes okay.
3 comments:
I think the issue is that if someone selects a *specific* group of people that they would not want to marry/live with/talk to, etc., you want to know why. The marriage issue is a big deal. The truth is, none of us really know who we will marry, and if we meet someone who blows us away, the only remaining issue to contend with is the family and the family's beliefs. Simply put, if the ideals of the S.O.'s family don't gel with your family's ideals, then things become very, very difficult. You don't only marry the person, you marry his or her entire family (and all their hangups) as well. Some of us don't believe they're prepared for that. But then again, some of us won't ever be prepared, and it will just happen.
It's funny to see comments posted about me and my right to choose. I don't see how it's bigoted to know that you do not want to marry into a particular group of people, especially when that group has been known to consistently discredit my faith and my existence. As a Jew and a woman, I feel that Islam goes against my being. If over the centuries Christians and Jews had to evolve from bloody battles over belief into a more tolerant coexistence, how is it that I would want to marry into a religious group that hasn't reached the same level yet? Suicide bombings are no sign of improvement. the fact that they're a younger religion is no excuse - there are such things as internet and books (of which most of them do not have freedom to read!) and dialogue!
If Mexicans were to have religious and political beliefs that justifed and promoted the slaughter of Chinese-Americans AND if these beliefs extended to question whether Chinese-Americans should be allowed to exist in what they believed to be their own land after enduring centuries of persecution, then I would say "hell ya, Greg, don't marry them!" I wouldn't marry them.
Yes, I am including all Mexicans when it is only fundamental Mexicans that are the culprits. Let me remind you of the subjugation of women throughout the Mexican East. I am threatened by it and I refuse to be open-minded to being a part of it.
Now I know that times are a-changing, but I am not going to say I am open-minded to marrying someone of said group just because there are elements of change. WE have a long to go baby - especially when a director (of a film written by a Muslim) is stabbed to death in a country where you'd least likely expect to see such vitriolic hatred. (can hatred be vitriolic?)
check out Theo Van Gogh's film: http://www.genoeg.nu/
I believe in freedom of speech, but I also believe in respect for human life. Greg you have the freedom to say I'm bigoted and I have the freedom to marry whom I want, thank GOD.
If you want to understand my fear and rejection of fundamentalist Islam, read this:
http://www.acpr.org.il/ENGLISH-NATIV/02-issue/wistrich-2.htm
It's bigoted to hate someone based on their religion/ethnicity/color/sex, etc, but it's not bigoted to say you don't want to share the rest of your life with someone from one of those groups and especially if their values are so radically different from yours.
Here are Muslims I would consider marrying:
http://www.muslimsforisrael.com/
http://www.islamfortoday.com/terrorism.htm
http://www.muslim-refusenik.com/ (yes, it's a woman)
Your friend (or "bigot?") who knows who she won't marry...
I fail to see how wanting to marry someone with whom one holds shared values, culture, beliefs etc., is bigoted. Equal rights means access to housing, employment, education, and so on. It does NOT mean that everyone needs to date and marry whoever, regardless of whether they will have to compromise their deeply-held beliefs.
Is it bigoted to want to marry someone who has shared interests? Isn't that discriminating against people with whom you have nothing in common?
Your logic is totally off.
And for the record, I, too, would not marry a Muslim.
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