Directing is Serious Business

I've been directing all this semester and basically learned how much I need to learn. It is a TOUGH frigging job, to get the pieces together on the spot and take responsibility for the whole thing. Having good comments is easier and different from directing actors well. I feel comfortable analyzing films and performances and look and all that...which hasn't always been the case. At times I sometimes felt I had a lack of vocabulary or clear thoughts on the matter. Now, I feel quite comfortable with interpreting what I see. Oddly, I can communicate it better to film school folks than regular civilians, whom I feel I get too wordy with.

And I'm generally comfortable with my writing, even though I don't get much validation of it from the school. That actually doesn't bug me too much, because I see the safe shit the school puts it's stamp on, but at the same time, no one is paying me to write.

But directing actors, is tough shit. Today I did pick ups and I still get confused on set and wondering what kind of notes and directions I should be giving. But practicing is the only way to get better and I found moments today where I think I did give some great, simple, clear directions...and it was weird - I was actually for the first time somewhat confident in a couple moments that I had actually given a good direction for an actor. I saw them respond and the performance changed. That made me happy. Most of the time I'm not a mess, just unconsciously incompetent, saying what comes to mind without any sense of craft. Today I tapped into something for one moment that I hope to be able to build upon.