I Quit

Working in SPO today and came across the book "What I Really Want to Do Is Direct." I started reading it and it's pretty painful...the focus of the book is the three years after film school and what people do. Just reading about the insecurity and bouncing around sounds so awful. All of these student movies, some award winning, etc, etc, sound annoying and boring. I feel like grabbing all these people and shaking them and saying - you're such frigging poseurs. Get a real job, get a real life. And then I realize I'm shaking myself. Can I get an application for the department of Homeland Security, please?

I have a general contempt for wannabees and phonies and poseurs and dreamy headcases and I can't believe I might be the biggest one of all with all this making movies crap...and the worst part about it is that in film school you become entrenched in this position of support from all sorts of other people with a vested interest in validating this very same existence. We criticize Enron accountants for being insulated, but we are in the same position, aren't we, looking at what we're doing, comparing ourselves to ourselves, justifying some childish need to be seen or noticed by spending oogles of money (and almost more importantly, time) against ridiculous odds for what? A lifetime of working on gigs as prop masters or grips or second ADs? Or quitting the film industry for some middle management position and becoming a local consultant on the town film festival? And hiding that MFA on our resume because we don't want to explain to people, "Yeah, I went to FIIILM school," and answering that question, "Well, what do you REALLY want to do?"