Humpty Dumpty

Film Production. Goddamn, it feels like a military operation. Not that I would really know, but...It's always all about to come apart and then somehow, all of a sudden, a day before shooting, this one at least, has magically come together. That is, until it comes apart again. We were talking about how there are so many critical points that can hamper and pause the entire production. Someone forgets the film. Someone forgets the keys for locks on the grip truck. Someone forgets the permit. Someone forgets the water. We forget to order a piece of equipment. We forget a wrench to put on the dolly wheels. We forget a garbage bag to cover the camera. It's freaking endless, the possible points which cause disaster.

I think the same applies to a military operation. At a certain point you just have to trust other folks will do their jobs. It's a sad moment, giving up control, and being totally beholden to all sorts of people, some of whom you barely know and yet it feels as though your fate is in their hands. It is one of the reasons I have sympathy for the folks in the war. The portrayal of war as a bumbling diaster is how these things go, and if you scurtinize a film production like the media scrutinizes the war, you will see mismanaged money, dumbass shit that people do, even malicious and bad things, and lazy things, and all the little details of human beings come out. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. And there is also something heroic that gets accomplished - just making a goddamn movie thesis movie is heroic. At the end of every film shoot it always feels like, "How the hell did we do that?"

At the same time, how the movie turns out is another question all together. I'm not sure that they are tied together. That is, there is the smoothness of the production and then there's the movie....and truth be told, I don't think they are all that related, which is a sad thing to say, especially as a student producer, whose job is basically to make sure the movie comes together.

In the end, like in Black Hawk Down, it's about the people you work with. I think that's why one does what he/she does. Simple obligation to others. From a production standpoint.

From a content standpoint, however, it's a different thing. An aesthic. Is it worth making THIS movie? Is it worth going into THIS war? Tough decisions, because they production of it all will always be on the brink of disaster.