Thursday, December 10, 2009

Tiger's Mistresses

In case it isn't obvious, I've been totally sucked into the Tiger story. This isn't normally my thing, but for some reason this story along with Jersey Shore, is really dragging me into the muck. To add to it, I rented THE PROPOSAL and TWILIGHT last night. Seriously, maybe all this is a cry for help. Maybe, in fact, LA is getting to me. I used to think I could stand up to it. I used to think it was a good test of character. Greater men have been felled by lesser foes. Look no further than Tiger for proof of this.

Okay. Here is a click through picture album of Tiger's Mistresses.

Now, I want to add my own twisted disappointment with Tiger...but first I should point out the other twisted disappointments - the mistress who got mad and jealous only when she learned of other mistresses - black women getting upset he had no black mistresses - his wife trying to murder him with a golf club - Eliot Spitzer's call girl calling out these mistresses for being fame-whores and generally classless - I'm sure there are more related to condom use, rough sex, etc...not fully reported yet.

My twisted disappointed with Tiger is looking through the photos - these girls aren't hot. Only JAMIE JUNGERS is actually "affair-worthy." Honestly. I'm not even famous or rich and I don't think I'd have an affair with any of those chicks, save for possibly Jamei Jungers and even she looks gross in one of the photos. Now, I'm not going to pretend to be some sort of diva here - toss a couple of drinks down my throat and make it easy - yeah, some of these girls could talk me into the sack. Or I could talk myself. Don't get me wrong. But an affair? That would require calling and planning - or at the very least texting and emailing. It would also require people seeing you with them. And I'm not sure I'd be seen with any of these girls. Do any of them have real lips? What's up with their frigging lips? They look like balloon animals. So I guess my twisted disappointment in Tiger is his taste.

2 comments:

sher58 said...

So more importantly how did you like Twilight?

Greg said...

i fell asleep. in the 10 minutes i saw, it looked to me like a totally incompetent movie. like, if the book didn't exist, it'd be considered the second worst movie of the year after the box.