Simmons on Soccer Players

Bill Simmons lets loose -

Q: Look I enjoy the soccer commentary and I really want to jump on the bandwagon but I just can't. The reason, every soccer player I've ever met is a total d-bag. How can I like a sport where every person who plays it drinks flavored vodka and attempts to screw every girl who walks by?
-- Ryan, Atlanta

SG: See, I think that's what took me so long to gravitate towards soccer. I haven't been in college since the early-'90s. I haven't been single since the early-'00s. I haven't seen soccer players disgracing themselves socially for such a long time that I now operate under the premise that they're like everyone else. Maybe that should be the new MLS PR strategy: targeting married guys over 35 with a slogan like "Professional Soccer: Because it's been so long that you forgot they were d-bags."

What's wrong with flavored vodka?