Great Post at Trust in One

Great title - the Demise of Men. Nate makes a great post, which makes the critique of Sideways almost tolerable.

That being said, I have a few scattered retorts. The hypothesis that dating people and falling in and out of love, and learning to "get over it" is in fact, divorce training, is a bit of a stretch. From what I've heard, it's the younger couples that don't last. But honestly, I don't think it's about the age, more about the people involved. That's fairly obvious.

Another point of contention is that since it's easier for men to get sex, we don't try to accomplish a lot with our lives, etc, is funny, but not necessary correct. Women used to make men jump through hoops to get laid, ie be successful, earn money, be self sufficient. By withholding sex, men behaved better, tried harder, found passions, etc, whereas today, not such hoops need to be jumped through, sex is too easy, and it makes guys loafs.

Interesting thoughts, I don't tend to agree with them all that much, because A) I don't think it's that easy to get laid and B) I don't think falling in and out of love is a such bad thing.

And onto film...

The Green article points out what film fans have noticed - actors such as Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, etc all looked more adult that the actors of today. We are a generation trying that look and dress like children. This, too, is obvious, but I'm not sure how horrible it is. 40 is the new 30, man.

And now to the real gist - the Sideways comeback. The Hayden Church character is clearly the type of male critiqued in the post. But I think the movie, as much as anything, undermines the Church character and makes the same point that Nate and Green make - that he needs to grow up. "You don't understand my plight," is funny because it's ridiculous and the character is so full of shit. Miles, at one point, yells at him, "You are an infant!"

Further, the Miles character, far from being the deadbeat child uncommitted to anything, is the opposite - he's a struggling and impassioned writer, one whose written 1000 + pages in his third novel. He's just not successful.

Green makes an interesting point, this whole idea of our generation being able to "do whatever we put our mind to," might very well be nonsense. Most of us are average and won't ever be able to accomplish our dreams. I am at film school and know 90% of the people in my class will not accomplish what they hope to accomplish. Perhaps Miles should take this advise and give up writing, because he just isn't talented enough. But what is Green's proposal? Should Miles become an insurance salesman? Or should he be satisfied being a teacher? Should he have treated his first wife better and kept that marriage going? Or is being a teacher and a failed writer, pursuing a life with Maya all right? Is it better that humbly accepting ones role with gratitude and thankfulness, similar to what our grandparents, who lived through the depression did?

Sideways is great movie for identifying this crisis in American masculinity and generating such a discussion. The critique of Sideways boils down to a critique of American men. The accuracy and truthfulness of the film are the reasons for which it is being attacked. Instead of disguising this as a critique of the film, we are actually using the accuracy of the film as a jumping off point for a discussion and critque of masculinity - which is a worthy and valient objective, it just shouldn't be confused with the quality of movie.

The comparison to Hollywood Classical cinema is nostalgia for a different time, a different type of American male. I often long for the past as well, I love Cary Grant, don't get me wrong. But idealizing America of 1950s is almost as absurd as suggesting that today's crisis in masculinity is any different than the perpetual "crisis" affecing American society. What I mean to say is that there always seems to be a "crisis" in something, if you read enough of the social critics - a crisis in filmmaking, a crisis in the news, a crisis in education, and so forth. The 1950s were a great time in America - we lived in a segregated society, had communist witchhunts, we moved to the suburbs, and created sophisicated advertising campaigns. Great time. Sort of reminds me of 1990s when we ignored genocides, pretended Islamic Fascism didn't matter, and felt like we were going to be rich forever.

A final note about Swingers and Sideways, both movies close to my heart...the themes of these films were not invented in the past 10-20 years. See Pillow Talk, the Rock Hudson-Doris Day film, and you'll see grown men acting like juveniles...see His Girl Friday, Cary Grant acts like a grown up kid...it's the women, not the men, that are so different, methinks - more confident, of all things. In the end of Swingers and Sideways, it's about Miles and Mikey, two characters who learn to "move on" and find happiness in pursuing healthly, new relationships. I don't see this as the worst model for how to live our lives.