Part IV

Bilal, Karim, Aman, and I discuss whether Islamic Awareness Week was a success. They seem to think so.

“Do you guys ever feel like this stuff makes no difference?” I ask.

“No.” They shake their heads.

“Why not? I do all the time, I feel like this whole documentary project and everything I do, and have ever done, is a complete waste of time. What gives you the sense that it matters?”

The young men talk about The Koran and how the Day of Judgment, when we will all face our maker and be judged by our actions on this earth. All of our actions matter, and if our hearts and intentions are in the right place, we will be rewarded. If our actions are unjust, we will be punished.

I ask Ray about the Day of Judgment. Despite his refusal to abide by some restrictions of Islam, he still believes in the Day of Judgment. He believes his actions in this world will be judged. This is not unique to Islam, he points out, Christians, and other religions believe this same thing.

Fareed Abdullah talks about the Day of Judgment – people will be judged for being sinful.

I ask Ray if he has any interest is attending Fareed Abdullah’s Wednesday night lecture at the masjid. We go together.

“Rough crowd,” he says afterwards.

“Do you think some of those guys found Islam in prison?”

“Who knows?”

I stop attending the Fareed Abdullah Wednesday night lectures. I feel awkward. I get the sense the Muslims at the masjid are annoyed with me, since I have no interest in embracing Islam. They think of me as ignorant. I don’t enjoy listening to the lectures, anyway.

We film our crew party, a dinner at my house. My producer asks me, “Do you think we got what you wanted – did we make a good documentary?”

“Who knows?” We drink and party until late in the evening.

Aman finally invites me to play soccer. We play on the USC intramural field for several hours in the early evening.

“What will you guys do after you graduate from USC?”

Many of the USC students in the MSA will go back to their native countries: Pakistan, Iran, Kuwait. Most came to the United States to study engineering. How do they feel about being a part of the movie? They are ambivalent.

“What will you do after this documentary?” they ask me.

I ponder.

THE END