This ought to be interesting.

My basic feeling about infidelity is that it sucks, but not quite as much as everyone makes it out to...

A couple of examples: This girl I knew in college was dating a guy. She's was a smart girl, sexually 'advanced' I'd say, and she made out with another guy to "Test how she and her boyfriend felt about each other." At first, it sounded bizarre and like a bullshit excuse to act selfishly, but in hindsight it makes sense in a weird way.

The other example is a personal one. I was "seeing" a girl whom I found out "hooked up" with another guy. We weren't too serious, but it pissed me off immensely - not just the pride fucking with you pissed off - but a genuine hurt bordering on betrayal. It forced me to confront the issue: that I LIKED this girl - and we had an all out yelling match, laying MOST of the cards on the table regarding the relationship - things neither of us had much courage to say before. It still is one of the most honest and best conversations I've had with a girl in my life...and I remember it both partially because of the girl, but also because I'm proud of myself for being honest with one. It's not all that easy.

Now I realize these relationships don't necessarily correlate to the special relationship that is marriage. "Dating" someone by definition, allows for seeing other people, whereas marriage by definition, does not - boyfriend, girlfriend being the middle ground. However, these lessons we learn from dating and having significant others are the groundwork lessons we will later apply to marriage. As much as I distrust the cheating, lying, bastard boyfriend, I don't find the overly possessive, pity-struck, pussy boyfriend much better. See A Place in the Sun and tell me who's more of an asshole - Montgomery Clift or Shelley Winters.