Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Irrational Kobe Hatred

My irrational Kobe hatred leads to the following prediction: Nuggets in 6. Jake has already manipulated me into betting my rent on the Lakers not winning the NBA championship. A Lakers championship would go against my every instinct about how the way things are supposed to be. It will lead me into a dark place and make me question all of my life choices. It would give all the glib, idiotic Kobe-philes ammunition for the next 25 years. It would be akin to Al Queda developing a biological weapon and creating a safe haven along the Mexican border. All that stands in front of Western Civilizations vast demise into hedonism, solipsism, narcicission, and idol worship is the calm leadership of Chauncey Billups, the undertested offensive prowess of Carmelo Anthony, and the fierce energy of Nene/Martin/Birdman trifeca. As our last/final line of defense we have LeBron, waiting in the wings, like our vast nuclear arsenal. Let's pray we don't need it.

1 comment:

singhx said...

Ha, ha! This is an awesome blog post! Very entertaining.

You needn't worry. Our "nuclear option" will take care of the Laker vermin.

...Hell, I called this shit nearly three months ago at Phil's place.