Doubt

You know that weird, sinking feeling in your stomach that one feels when one feels like they are making all the wrong choices, big and small, with respect to everything? Okay, so maybe not. But I've got some of that right now, after driving up to Studio City in traffic to tutor a student (nice kid) instead of working on my sound for my film - which is a mess - and probably can't be saved without a miracle.

It's strange, I've talked a lot about of self-doubt with amigos, but never written much on it. For the first 21 years where and how I grew up, self-doubt was a good quality...it kept you "real" and honest and not full of shit. It was funny and neurotic and the best defense against the tyranny of high school cliches and pretentious college platitudes.

But in the real world, self-doubt is a symbol of weakness and indecisiveness. And for good reason, it's not very useful for early 20s folks trying to forge their way in a big, rather inhospitable world. But doubt can be both useful and crippling, I wish Saddam and Hitler had more of it...

It seems to me there's a happy medium that I have yet to find. I welcome thoughts.