I Like, But Don't Love, New York

I saw a comedy show last night - unfortunately, not this comedy show - but a comedy show nonetheless. It was fun.

My general impression of New York - never having been a resident - is that the entire city is trying to get you to part with your money. In the 1980s you feared being mugged for it. Today, the muggers are much more clever and try to give you stuff for your money. $100 theater tickets, cover charges for comedy shows, subway fare, movies, museums, food....

I'm not a fool. I know things cost money. But lemme ask ya this - why on earth would a sane person pay oogles of money to live in the tiny-ass apartments in Manhattan? I swear Punjabi immigrants would come from the Mumbai slums and their first reaction would be "this is rather small."

The culture you say? The "street" culture. Lemme tell you what the "street culture" is. It's a lot of people walking around fast and shitty hot dogs and roasted nuts. It's crowding into a subway and transfering. It's crossing the street whenever you get a shot.

I don't "get" how this place sustains itself. Oh, I understand how the rich can play here. I get the Wall Street hustlers and their inside schemes to grift money off large financial instutions, in cahoots and competition with the other grifters, enriching themselves and affording a lifestyle not available to anyone but the .1% of them. But what about all the rest of the people of New York? Are they blowing inherentences? Working three jobs?

I see how 20-somethings get by. They live in small places in Manhattan. They live in Brooklyn. They make a premium salary. But how does it sustain itself when you have a family and need some space? Need to pay for school? I guess you save on car insurance.

I know this sounds like a critique or I'm not having a good time. Quite the opposite. I love the uniqueness of this place. You feel a sense of camraderie here. Like a big diverse frat house with lots of hot girls. The diversity is pretty incredible. But who gives a shit about diversity if you poop right next to your bed?

A dirty secret about New York - the food is no match for California. And when I say California - I mean LA and San Francisco. Sure - the top end, luxury dining is great (I wouldn't know this trip). Of course. It goes without saying. But what's the point of comparing the top end luxury dining? Every substantial city from Paris to London to Toyko to Los Angeles has top end luxury dining. Shit - Las Vegas has top end luxury dining. What matters is the affordable, available food a regular person could eat on a day-to-day...actually strike all that...what matter is what I eat while I'm here. The bagels are better. But not that much better and I eat a bagel about once a week tops. The pizza is good - I went to some special pizza place in Brooklyn. Yes - it's good and available all the time. But I don't wont for lack of Pizza in LA. The Chinese food I ate was pretty good - but certainly no better than what one can get in San Fran.

*Note I don't talk about Monteray Park because it's way too far away from me and I hardly consider it LA.

But go into any good grocery store in California - I'm not even talking Whole Foods - just a Vons or a decent Albertsons and you're getting a better selection of cheese and fruit and meat than you're getting at New York stores at a cheaper price.

I don't need to mention Mexican food, which I wouldn't even touch here. The sandwiches on the east coast are mentally challenged compared to the west coast. Hogie rolls. Really? Put a hogie roll against a sourdough roll in the ring together and it's like the Tyson-Spinks fight. Over in 30 seconds.

I could go on - but I've asked my California peeps - and they know. They secretly agree. It's not because we're better. It's because we have advantages - space, proximity to where the food is grown (California). Time - we have time. We don't eat those prepared little food packets all around the city. No one has any time in New York.

This is a great city. Clearly one of the greatest in the world. But I don't think it's livable. Not for me - not for someone who likes to drive a car and who can pay $550 in rent and walk to the beach. And shouldn't that count for something? Isn't livabililty and sustainability the central purpose our cities? Shouldn't that trump culture and diversity. How much of New York is just living off grift? Off over speculated mortages and insider trading schemes. When all that dough trickles down - is that what funds the high real estate and the thousands of top end restaurants and the ridiculously priced fashion? And the plays and the "culture..."