Where We Are

Yesterday I attended a Super Bowl party after playing a soccer game. I oftentimes get disgusting bruised toenails after soccer, especially when I play on turf or with new shoes, both of which were the case yesterday. My big toes are basically both permanently bruised and mangled and totally disgusting, which makes me never quite understand the whole foot fetish thing.

I don't like displaying my disgusting feet publicly, but because of my blisters and other things, it was painful to wear shoes (as I am doing right now). In any case, a few people at the Super Bowl party asked me, not in a mean or condescending way, but more in a seriously curious manner -

"Do you paint your toenails?"

What does it say about the state of masculinity in our culture that it is more likely that I would be painting my toenails than being bruised from overuse? This is where the minds of otherwise logical and smart people go first?

I can't even take this insult personally because I may be many, many things, but not among them is the type of dude who would paint his toenails. I know, I know, joke, joke, joke, easy joke. But seriously, I'm not even close to that guy. And these people know it. Yet, the most logical explanation of colored toenails is that I'm painting them.

Welcome to the 10s.