Sideways

You know you love a movie when a classmate criticizes the film and you immediate hate the person and create stories about their personal upbringing to explain why they didn't get the part of the movie.

A girl makes a comment about the Paul Giamatti - Virginia Madsen scene when he talks about Pinot and she talks about why she loves wine so much - basically the main scene in the movie and she says something like, "Yeah, Hollywood movies are too obvious and cheesy with their metaphors, blah, blah, fucking blah."

I'm sitting right behind her and almost interupt her "You think this is a Hollywood movie?" It wasn't a foreign film, sure, but to me, this was a humanist, independent film if there is such a thing anymore in America. Sure, it got distributed by Hollywood and was made by Warner's, but it has the independent spirit, unquestionably.

And, the scene didn't work for you, huh? Well, perhaps that's because you're a heartless cunt. Yes, that's right, I thought it - the c-word. It's entered my lexicon, and I know I'm going to use it sometime inappropriately soon, and I can't help it. Dammit. But if there was anyone deserved of the term, this girl, to me, at this moment, was a heartless cunt.

Then the teacher kinda agrees with her, like pussy democratic senator and someone else says something about why the scene sucks...and I'm flipping out and raise my hand, and say, "You're operating on the premise that this scene doesn't work, but think it's awesome - and the only point you're making is that you don't like it, that it's not your taste." Or something to that effect.

I could tell my comment didn't go over well or have any resonance with anyone. Maybe I was compensating for my too weak comment to a filmmaker last night when I meant to say, "You spent 100 mil on this Pink Panther bullshit, why didn't you get real soccer players to play soccer, you big pussy faggot?" Apparently it came out, "I liked this scene, but I was wondering if you used real soccer players?"

I wussed out.

Then other people start talking about the movie and what works and what doesn't work and I say to myself, "Well, you obviously don't get this film because it requires actually having had a sexual relationship with someone to understand what's going on, you celibate, film school wuss." Or "Well, it wasn't made for lesbians, so what can I say."

Hey, I liked the frigging movie. It has more soul in 5 minutes that most of the people talking about it will ever express in their whole frigging lives, so who the fuck are they to talk and be listened to. I say, silence the critics, take away free speech when it is outrageous and inappropriate!

**In finale, i will admit that Sideways is a movie for Californian men. It is a regional picture and I think that's why I love it so much. If you're some red state fuck who thinks Giamatti is a "bad person," go read your bible and your porn-self help Christian group and take another look at Passion of the Christ, I don't give a shit. Sideways got made for $16 mil, we don't need your business....it could make a living in California alone. And for the women who don't really like it - fair enough, I don't like Sex and the City.

UPDATE: And regarding the comment on "pretentious" wine drinking...first off I assume pretentious because of the WAY the Paul G character drinks wine, not merely because it's wine (if it's the latter, that worries me on a different level). The Giamatti character clearly loves wine. He geeks out over it. Is it pretentious when computer nerds geek out over the Matrix or gun fanatics geek out over Commando? Watching someone obsess over something they love is one of the greatest accomplishments a film can achieve - because it touches that which is most precious to our own human existence...feeling love for something or someone. Plus, it's freaking funny as all hell. But again, what can I say, some people don't like Woody Allen. Is it worth talking about? Perhaps not.

UPDATE II: Regarding the political ideology of the film. I don't think this is a clear cut liberal movie, as Nate would argue. One of my favorite scenes is early in the film when Thomas Hayden Church confronts Giamatti about his depression. Church takes a traditional conservative position with respect to Giamatti's depression. He says, "Fuck therapy and xanax and all that other shit - what you need is to get your joint worked on." (paraphrase)

At this point in the film the audiences are loving the Church character because he's stating the simple truth, Giamatti needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and get back in the game, and get some pussy. It is a blatant critique of the victim or martyr complex.