Raped in the Ass

Luckily, I've never been raped in the ass. But I did just get a phone call from my Subaru mechanic informing me that in addition to my 30,000 mile tune up (cost: $500), I need new brake pads ($295), new gasket covers -??? ($200), and new valve covers-??? ($950).

What the fuck are these things and will they at least wear a condom?