How To Save Money

MSN always has these lists like "How to Become a Millionaire By Saving," or "10 Things Not To Do on a First Date," or "How to Get A Raise."

With such catchy titles, I'm always inclined to click on them. Inevitably, like shitty popcorn movies, I finish reading feeling disappointed, cheap, and like I wasted my time. 99% of the time the advice is banal or obvious. In "How to become a Millionaire," they'll say things like "start a 401k." Uh, duh, no shit. I think the ideas should be a little more...I don't know...original? Thoughtful? Here is my MSN column - like many of their lists, mine is about how to save money.

1. Don't Tip. Fine, you have to tip 15% at a restaurant, but in all those optional tip places like Starbucks or any take out food place, don't tip. Never, ever tip. You will save all that change which will eventually add up to a decent amount of money.

2. Don't Drive. With gas prices so high, force your friends to drive. If they won't drive, don't go. Just sit at home.

3. Borrow Stuff. Instead of renting movies, buying music or dvds or books, borrow them from your friends. You should return them when you're done.

4. Don't Dryclean. Just iron your shirts...or don't even do that, just keep wearing them over and over. When they get totally disgusting, then maybe you dryclean, but don't do it as a habit.

5. Don't buy coffee or water. You should never pay for coffee or water because these are things you can get for free very easily. Most workplaces provide them. They are community goods. Do not expend any of your own resources on them.

6. Buy Clothes At Target. Dude. Target is so cheap and has a lot of semi-cool clothes, so if you just buy a bunch of stuff from there and integrate into your wardrobe, you get some new clothes for super cheap.

7. Sneak Liquor into the Bar. Carry a flask. Buy one drink with lots of ice and keep refilling it with your liquor. Or buy those little mini-bottles and carry them around in your pocket. Beer is harder because it takes up a lot more space and doesn't stay cold and is cheaper at the bar. If you want to be really cheap, bring in liquor and just ask for ice water, pound it, and fill your cup with vodka.

8. Buy Movie Passes. Buy movie passes from wherever is easiest for you to buy passes...through work, school, wherever. But, this is important, buy the passes to movie theaters where it is easy to sneak into multiple movies. Use your movie pass on a movie and then go see 2 or 3 for the price of the movie pass.

9. Read The Newspaper Online. No point in paying for something available for free.

10. Stay Out of All Debt. Credit Cards, Car Payments, Student Loans, Home Loans...these are all forms of debt. Many are unavoidable. Some are considered desirable investments (home loans) because of their long term value. But, in all of these cases, you are spending money to spend money. Even student loans, which are widely viewed as "good loans," you are accumulating interest. One of the "good things" about student loans is that they can be deferred and delayed and re-negotiated, etc, but all that time interest accumulates (unless you've got a no-interest deferment). When in debt, the time it takes to write this column is time spent going into more debt. This column costs me probably a $1 in student loans. All debt is costly.

And with respect to homes...I'd like to see a study between a person who rents vs. a person who owns and the difference in cost goes straight into the stock market. I suppose it depends on the real estate market and the stock market (and you need to have comparable living situations), but I suspect the stock market might be a smarter overall bet. I could be way wrong, though.