Vegans

Since I'm officially moving from my Silver Lake abode in a little over a week I thought I'd try the new vegan restaurant in the neighborhood this evening...you know, before I left. Mistake.

A) It costs a lot
B) I'd rather eat my own asshole
C) I had to look at stupid, dirty hippies/hipsters while ordering

What the hell is this weird cut up pasta-esque crap that vegans put on everything like it's goddamn ketchup?