The Clippers

Boy, the Clippers are a dumb team.  They remind me a bit of my dog, Magic, from growing up.  He was a lovable, energetic, fun dog, but very stupid.  He would do things like eat corn cobs and need to get surgery because it stopped his digestive track.  He was in no control over his impulses to eat whatever was in front of him and chase after any other animals in the nearby vicinity.

Other than Chris Paul, this is how the Clippers play.  I don't think a single other player on the team possesses an above average basketball IQ.  Blake is super talented and looks like a world beater at times.  But he does dumb things a lot.  Why pass up open 20 footers?  Just take the goddamn shot.  Even if you miss, follow for the rebound.  You aren't going to get a better look in the 4th quarter of a playoff game.  CP3 or Mo Williams driving against 3 people and trying to flick up a shot is not a better shot than an open 20 footer for Blake.  Also, Blake comes down with some offensive rebounds and otherwise gets balls in the paint and gets blocked a surprisingly number of times for a guy of his size and athleticism.  The guy needs to use fakes to get guys up in the air and take fouls and go for 3 point plays.  His fear of free throw shooting prevents him from doing this and he tries too hard to lay it in or dunk it on people and use his strength rather than guile.  This is why he gets blocked a lot.  And then he always looks at the refs like it's their fault for him not knowing how to take a foul or put a move on a guy at the post.

DeAndre Jordan is the most useless offensive basketball player in the world.  I can't stand these big guys who can't catch a pass and dunk.  Totally ridiculous.  The guy is 7 foot 2 or something - what is he afraid of?  He needs to study how Tyson Chandler plays.  Chandler cannot make a shot for shit and still manages 10-12 points a game and shoots like 65% fg's because the guy can catch the ball and dunk.

Nick Young is a lame basketball player.  He is good for one thing and one thing only: getting hot.  If he isn't hot, he's useless.  He can't play defense, he can't score, he can't pass, he can't do anything except get hot and knock down shots when he's hot.  Mo Williams is a similar player, although Mo, to his credit, is more of a scorer.  A second rate scorer, but still a scorer, a guy who you can generally rely upon to get his own basket, by making a shot or driving to the hoop.  He doesn't give you much more than that.

Caron Butler just totally disappears.  He and Mo are the perfect example of mid-level journeyman players who playoff level ballers look forward to seeing on the other side of the court knowing they are going to find a way to beat them.

Who else? Bledsoe is totally out of control.  Him and Reggie Evans try really hard and I give them props for that, but jesus, they are not good basketball players.  Bledsoe rarely makes a smart play and often just forces it.  Evans was the key to beating Memphis, but there's no way you're making it out of the 2nd round if Reggie Evans is playing significant minutes for you.  All he can do is defend big guys and grab rebounds.  He is the type of guy you should put in for a few minutes when you need energy, but if he's playing at the end of the game all time, you aren't really putting yourself in a good position to win.

Kenyon Martin is again just like Caron Butler and Mo Williams.  Very in the middle.  At least he'll catch it and dunk it.  Too bad the Clips can't merge Kenyon and DeAndre into one guy, that would be a serviceable NBA center.

Who else?  Foye?  It seems like Foye only does stuff in the 1st quarter of games.  I think everyone was more right than they knew about this team needing Chauncey.  If Chauncey was playing there is no way they get blow out in a must win game 3 when they are up 22 points.  No way.  How is that even possible?  The Spurs make them look like boys playing against men.