Kobe Hater

Bill Simmons counters the charge he is a Kobe hater. Using his criteria, I am much more of a Kobe hater -

1. I always see my Kobe glass as half empty. I enjoy disparaging his abilities, rooting against him and reveling in his failures. When he succeeds, I look for ways to discredit him. In short, Kobe cannot win with me. I am his antifan.

Yes, I do this.

2. Kobe has become such a polarizing player and person that if you aren't rooting for him, it means you're rooting against him. Look at me and The Mag: I'm a hater, but they give him print lap dances twice a year. Two extremes.

No, I don't think this is true.

3. Kobe is the best NBA player and has been for some time. If I'm not willing to admit this, then it can only mean I hate him.

I agree with Simmons - this is just plain dumb.

4. I don't like him personally, which affects the way I think of him professionally.

Yes, this is true. He raped a woman and doesn't give a shit about his teammates. In high school, instead of taking his girlfriend out, he would force them to watch highlights of himself. True story. I don't like him. And his game is reflective of his extraordinary narcissism.

5. I hate Kobe. Like, I really hate him. If I were driving and saw him crossing the street, I would run him over.

I don't hate anyone this much, except perhaps Bin Laden.

Thoughts on Kobe's 61 point game, which I didn't see:

A friend of mine, a lifelong Knicks season ticket-holder since the Bradley era, e-mailed me afterward: "That was the worst night maybe of my life in the Garden. How horrible it must be to play with Kobe. He was signaling constantly to his teammates to get him the ball. THREE ASSISTS AND NO REBOUNDS. Talk about a team guy."

If you like basketball, how can you like this guy?